Eva lay on her back and tried to keep her breathing even. Faust lay on his stomach, with one arm thrown over her possessively. Not nearly as possessive as she felt. She doubted he was full of raging jealousy. Every fiber of her being clearly told her he was hers and hers alone. And wary anyone, including him, that thought otherwise. It mattered not at all if she tried to rationalize away the emotion. She could mentally list several very sound reasons, including the incident of her being tainted in the first place, why not to like Faust. Sexually he was more than satisfactory, but in every other way not so.
She remembered the reasons why she had broken up with him years ago and those remained very valid reasons. None of it had any effect on her desire for him, her very strong and consuming lust. Nor her extreme possessiveness of him. She knew it was not mutual and could never be so. Faust did not develop long lasting connections of any kind. Their personalities conflicted on so many levels that at times his mocking smugness made her almost homicidal. There was not a person she had ever met that could incite the actual temptation to become violent. She speculated it was this conflicting and violent response she had to him that incited her new nature. That and her desire for him physically, which had never had much to do with her relationship to him in any way.
It could not be repressed or denied. The only solution and one that had its appeal, was to give into this animal lust, but remain emotionally detached. When she regained some control over herself it would then be easy to cut off any sexual relationship. Giving into this desire, simply because her body was working against her, was frustrating. It felt like in a way it was a loss of control. However, she could use him to help it get under control before she began to lustfully jump other men. Faust would hardly complain. Even if he was only being used to help her repress these urges, he would not complain. He did not attach extra meaning or emotions to satisfying lust. He was without complications and she was in no state to have any sort of relationship. Nor was he. He had one truly meaningful relationship and she could not imagine him even wanting to create another.
Eva turned her head and studied Faust silently. He looked so boyish in his slumber. His hair was black again and spiked up. She was still deeply angry at him. Partly for his lack of trust in her. Partly because his associations within the barrier had basically led to her being infected. Yet she willingly went on the mission, knowing there is always the potential of infection. Sector work was never to be taken lightly. The lack of trust with her, had to do with his own issues with RI and little to do with her. And the man really was quite paranoid.
She did not care about his theory of the Sector power as it was clear that when the energy infected people they were changed against their will. While she did not believe anyone deserved to die, perhaps even the Sector born creatures, she did believe it was a worthy cause to seek a treatment for the condition. Even if that meant containing the Sector’s somehow in order to prevent the contamination of others. She would have to make sure Faust understood the importance of this as well. It was obvious he did not see it as an infection. He saw the power as a natural thing and doing anything to prevent the Council harming its creations was more of a concern than the Sector itself. Perhaps it was this powers influence on him that was affecting his judgment. He would be better if he could contain its influence on him. They would both be better with this power purged from them. And maybe it could be done without the help of RI at all.
Faust stirred in his sleep his arm reflectively pulling her closer. When his eyes opened she faced their black depths without flinching, yet she missed the brilliance of his natural green. His eyes were wary, likely anticipating a bad reaction on her part, which made her smile.
“Are you going to be contrary again?” he asked.
She actually felt extremely contrary in regards to him. “I can reasonably say I was more the cause of this than you, this time,” she replied, smiling slightly. “And I thank you for it. I cannot control this rising urges and desires. You are good one to use to handle this. We are close, but not connected, it should work fine.”
The smile he gave her back, with its ease and contentment, threatened to warm her heart. It was because they were close, they had history and been through a lot. For him to be able to be casually with her and still maintain a friendship would be important. “Good, because I don’t think I could tolerate you blaming me for your expressions of passion.”
“Of course, because you believe every passion should be experienced to the fullest extent.”
He rolled to his side and supported his head with a arm on the pillow. “Exactly. Those with the mage talent are passionate people. You, perhaps, more passionate about order than you should be at the expense of other more worthwhile passionate pursuits.”
A shiver of desire rippled through her as he leaned inward, his obvious expression of desire pressed against her leg. He leaned closer and kissed her softly, his other hand caressing her exposed breast tenderly. He pulled back way too soon.
“I find your acceptance of this decidedly pleasant,” he said with a wicked grin.
“And of course I aim to keep you pleased,” she said dryly. “Apparently my desire for you, which I have never really denied having only in indulging in it, is quite hard to repress now. It surges into me with such force I can‘t think.”
“Yes, I did note the extremely demanding in your passion last night. It really turned me on. Even the partial shift it caused, with the slit kitty eyes, and the long teeth and sharp nails. All of it was damn desirable. Could have done without the hair growth though. You are a beautiful tiger, love, but when making love, fur is not so enticing.”
“I do not grow fur,” Eva said with a laugh.
Faust chuckled. “No, but for future reference the more emotional you are the more you tempt the change within you. And sex, with me of course, is done quite well and will bring out some traits.”
“So this means when I’m angry you will be able to tell by my eyes.”
“I could always tell when you were angry, as it usually involves you lecturing me.”
“Good point. So how long will it take us to get within the Sector?”
“On altered horses, about four days. We could take the winged horses, but riding them is quite the skill, which none of us have.”
“You should be able to master such a skill with ease,” she mocked.
“Sure, abstractly, but not in reality. Are you sure you are ready to go to the place to blame for your state?”
“I’m ready. At this point, after what I have seen, it will hardly surprise me.”
“There will be things that will surprise you, love. But I most enjoy seeing you surprised.”
“Then lets get ready.”
Eva got up and picked out some good travel wear. Obviously she had no uniforms, they had actually been taken from her. So she went with soft leather riding pants and white shirt with short sleeves.
She was well aware of Faust watching her as she dressed. “So sleek and sexy.”
“By that you mean thin and small breasted.”
“I rather like your breasts, but you can dislike them if you wish.”
“Just get changed. I’ll meet you downstairs.”
Eva left and went down to the tavern. She found the Mara talking to who she assumed was the feeorin, with his skin a pale green color and a slim four foot stature. The nymph sat with them. Eva stared at the woman. It did not appear such a timid creature would tempt Faust, but he was attracted to beautiful woman and easily encouraged. Yet while she played with Faust, he would not play with others. She was not into sharing before the change and even less so now.
Eva caught Cisily’s eyes and said, “Faust will be right down.”
“Will he?” Cisily asked, a hint of amusement in her tone. “Enjoy him while you can, child, but he is not made for commitment.”
Eva was not looking for commitment either and now she had no idea if she would ever find it. “Really?” she mocked. “I thought he was the marrying type. Now my illusions are so shattered.”
“He is dangerous,” Arina added softly.
Eva chuckled. One thing she did not consider Faust to be was dangerous. Annoying, skillful, temperamental, but not dangerous.
Arina shrugged, almost as if she read the thoughts from Eva’s mind. “He is not human. Not any more. Less than I, who takes after the fae more than most Changed. The purely changed though are something else altogether. They are born of the dark energy. It fills them up.”
Eva shrugged off the comment. She did not quite know what to make of Faust and his changed nature yet, but all in all, he still remained Faust. She had to believe that because she wanted to believe what happened to her left her with the same core of herself intact. “Are the horses ready?”
“All saddled and ready to go. We have given you enough food for the trip and a path where you are less likely to find Enforcers. Of course, once you are close that diminishes. They look for the Changed within the barrier, nearest to the border line, the Sector is not their concern and they fear it.”
Eva sat down and sighed. “And I am told there is a drug I can take to ease the changes?”
“A powder you put in your tea. I have given you a large bag, it will be more than enough. However, we still have two days of the fullest moons. You will change tonight and tomorrow. I would suggest you leave the camp and explore your tiger nature. You might gain more insight into the terrain that way as well. As a scout skin-changers are the best.”
“Certainly,” Eva said with a grimace.
“I feel the beast within you,” the feeorin said. His grin was wide and mocking and his beady eyes had that disturbing hate in them. Her sense of smell picked up on that layer of hate beneath the scent of the forest and moist dirt around him.
Eva gave the little fae an appraising look and then decided it best to ignore the comment.
“As for the dryad,” Cisily said, “I will just say these trips to her are emotionally taxing for Faust. Please be easy on him, it is very hard for him to do, even though he wants to.”
Eva frowned, puzzled by the remark, as very little was emotionally hard for Faust. When he was confronted with an emotional person he was usually uncomfortable or slightly curious. She had been told the dryad was a creature born from the Sector, which she considered to be her area of protection. There was no reason for Faust to have any connection to the being, although possible he had had some sort of contact with it.
Faust came down before she could question the woman further. Eva’s attention was drawn to him immediately. He still looked rumpled and disheveled, having taken little care with his hair or the fact his clothes were wrinkled. Still the tight fitting, worn in, pants outlined the muscles of his legs and other appealing attributes. His shirt was loose and open a few buttons to expose the planes of his chest. Eva took a deep breath, wondering if she would ever get control over her body’s reactions. Which led to the uncomfortable question of tiger-skins sexual nature and if they went into some sort of hormonal heat.
Faust grinned widely and she thought he might be quite aware of her reaction. It would normally be something that would make her angry, because of the blatant suggestiveness and surety of it. However, since she had every intention on acting upon her desire for him it just made her smile wickedly. She had worked hard her entire career and that meant little time for any relationships, let alone a tryst. She was going to enjoy it while it lasted. Maybe she just wanted to hold onto Faust, as close as possible, because he was the only remaining link to her former life. Or worse, a part of her wanted to save him like she had been unable to do with her cousin.
It took a little bit of effort to get ready. Then there had been a heated argument when Eva insisted on taking some of her equipment. Finally, Faust had given in while suggesting the extra weight was pointless when the Magik inside her tools would likely fail. The point was, no matter what they discovered Eva planned on getting some sort of evidence to work with.
They had five horses altogether. One was going to be used as a pack horse alternately. Eva had never seen a horse she less wanted to ride in her life. First of all, she loved horses. She thought they were noble and majestic. Their soft eyes seemed to understand a person. It was the first thing she noticed in these changed horses. Their eyes were red and when they stared at her, she felt anything but calm. She felt pinned to the ground by the intensity of their gaze. Her body immediately reacted with two very contrary responses; one to bolt and the other a deeper, more violent response. She made an involuntary coughing noise somewhere between a hiss and a growl. She had no idea what the sound was about, but hated to think she was choking on a fur ball.
She kept getting the distinct impression they understood more than they should. They were easily two hand spans taller than any horse she had heard of. All five of them were a deep ebony color and this, again, seemed significant with the red eyes. Finally, it was the teeth that upset her most. It did not look like these horses contently munched on grass, not with so very many sharp teeth.
After staring a long moment at her horse Faust stepped up to her. “Generally, you get on the back.”
Eva put her hands on her hips. “Generally, I’m not worried the horse is going to make a meal of me.”
Faust laughed. “Hector would not eat you. Would you?”
The horse shook its head and Eva stepped back alarmed. “He didn’t understand you, right?”
“He did. The thing you have to realize about these horses is that they choose to carry us to the Sector, but they’re not at all broken or tame. They have an attachment to humans, to be sure. They like to live amongst us and be pampered, but still they enjoy their freedom and often choose their riders rather than the other way around. Now these ones, are just offering us a service. For which, we are grateful.”
None of what he said was the least bit comforting. Nor was it any better when he added, “Hell horses tend not to like skin-shifters, so we are fortunate they will tolerate you for the journey.”
“Great,” she said faintly.
The horse stamped its feet impatiently and huffed. Eva made use of a stool and swung herself up on its back, where she perched with discomfort. She felt the tension in the beast when Roiger entered the stables. Eva felt herself respond to his presence as well. She felt her skin warm and a tension sit in her stomach. Roiger ignored the horse and stared up at Eva. His nostrils flared. His eyes brightened for a moment. Eva had the sudden urge to pounce on him, rip his throat out. She thought the desire might be because of what he had done to her, combined with the fact he was a wolf-skin. Just dandy. But if she was going to pounce on people and maul them, then at least he was a worthy target. None of them were her friends or allies. They had proven they could not be trusted and whatever goals they had beyond mere survival would likely be contrary to her own. She drew in his scent and then opened her mouth slightly and breathed in more deeply taking in his scent and all the ones around, separating them and remembering them. She glared at him, growling lowly in warning.
Then he turned to Faust with a smile.
“You will thank Orian for us,” Faust said. “Only he could convince five of his horses to abide our presence.”
Roiger shrugged. “They abide you very well. If you stayed in the barrier, I have no doubt you would have some of your own.”
Faust swung up into the saddle with ease and replied, “I would be glad to have them, but I have little reason to remain in the barrier when it does more good for me to be outside of it.”
Eva glared at him, as his statement only reminded her that she had no choice.
“Yes and the Sector energy does cling to you more. Perhaps it is easier to be away from it,” Roiger added.
Peoter needed assistance into the saddle, a saddle that looked tailored to people of smaller stature. Eva gave the little man a wary look. It was true he looked harmless but being Sector born who knew what sort of abilities he possessed and what he truly felt about humanity. With his stature and thin body he ought to look like a child, but his narrow features made him look more like a fox. His hair was a dark, rich green and braided with beads. His eyes glittering emeralds. His skin a pale green and seemed so unnatural a tone. Honestly, she didn’t know what to make of the little man. His size automatically made her think he was no threat, but fae born could look delicate and fragile. It was their power and their fae magic that made them dangerous. The scent of him was not human and disturbing.
Arina let Roiger help her into the saddle, looking dainty near the man and horse. Dainty, modest and charming. She exuded a ethereal beauty, perhaps even more so because she did not seem to be aware of it.
Not long after they passed through the shield of the village Eva began to get agitated. It was nothing to do with their journey or with her companions, although her companions were unsettling in their own ways. It was more a feeling. A crawling under her skin that made her jittery and nervous for no valid reason. No reason except it was one of the days of the fullest moon and every hour brought her closer to a change she could not stop.
“This theory of yours, this concept that this power is influenced by the mental state of mind of its victims…”
“I would rephrase the word victims,” Faust said dryly.
“I’m not about to debate the word just because it offends you.”
He shrugged. “I suppose it doesn’t matter. In a way I chose my fate and in the end you did not.”
“Exactly.”
“If you wish to be seen as a victim then by all means go right ahead. I tire of people feeling victimized by whatever event occurs to them.” He glanced at her. “In much the same way as you tire of drunks that use some incident in their past, or their nature, as an excuse to drink and pity themselves.” As if mocking this he took out his drinking flask and took a sip.
“I didn’t say I felt a victim. Nor do I intend to act the victim, Faust. Just to make the clear point that such chaotic forces inflict changes on people without their consent. Very unlike someone choosing to alter their figure or hair color by use of an Enhancer.”
“Granted.”
“And furthermore I had no intention of starting an argument.”
“Yet,” he said, slanting her an amused look, “you always do.”
She shifted in the saddle. “I just wanted to discuss this theory and how you have become so adamant about it.”
“I have plenty of facts, you’re just not aware of the process it took to get to the conclusion. If you were, you would be more convinced.”
“Fine. Obviously your brilliance far exceeds mine, such that I cannot even comprehend how you would reach such conclusions.”
“Eva, I most certainly didn’t say that. I don’t know why you attribute such intellectual snobbery to me, but I’m getting tired of it. Lets just say that as I have been one of the Changed for quite a few years now, that I have had more time to understand the forces in the Sector in a way RI has not. And also that since my own daughter was changed from before her birth, I have had a vested interest in understanding the phenomena.”
She could not argue that. Although she never liked the over confidence he had when presenting any argument, it was also true he had never been condescending about it. He only mocked her high opinion of his intelligence compared to her own. She was self aware enough to know it was her own lack of confidence that made her testy around Faust. Keenly aware he knew it as well and used it to make her angry. However, self awareness didn’t seem to help her with automatically getting riled up. In this case, Faust did have quite a bit of experience in the barrier and being changed himself. “What about the fact that the Changed don’t reflect the mythical creatures we name them by completely? How would you explain that?”
He glanced at her. “I don’t understand your point.”
“If we choose this change and it is our fears or desires that help the manifestation, then why don’t we change into creatures right out of myths?”
“I would say many of the changed do mimic the stories quite clearly. Skin-shifters for example. And the fact that the change follows the moon cycle.”
“I will grant that one, although the myths do only mention a wolf-skin‘s change being tied to the moon. A very prevalent myth with many forms. What about Aneese?”
“Aneese? I assure you she does need blood for sustenance.”
“Yes, but other than being weaker and lethargic, she is capable of being out in sunlight. And she is not, well, undead.”
“You mean she has not risen from the grave into the being she is?”
“Exactly. She is still alive. She still smells…”
“Smells human?” he inquired.
Eva sighed, knowing how very odd the statement was. “Yes. Different but quite alive.”
“Granted there are some small deviations. Although when one becomes a vampire during the change, they do actually have their heart stop beating for a bit. It is a dramatic change to their nature. And their belief in it more so. It actually proves my point really. All these deviations only prove the variations of the verbal stories told and the, er, lack of imagination in some people. And also, the clear fact, that while they mimic the appearances and traits of old stories, they are in fact entirely different beings. Aneese being a fine example. The mythology of vampires changes from village to village and from culture to culture. Some of the Changed we call vampires have strengths and weaknesses associated with different cultures. The deviations are only because there is no one true story of vampires.”
“Perhaps. Or this power in the Sector has occurred before and those stories are proof of it. Beneath every legend there is always a core of truth. What if this energy has never been concentrated in specific areas before, but did occur? A chaotic manifestation of magnas energy. A random chaotic bubble in a field of order. Growing and receding.”
“Because the truth behind most myths is hardly the fact that such beings existed. And there is no evidence any such creatures ever existed. You’re not really refuting my theory, merely the source of the energy. You are saying it is a chaotic flux, an aberration within the natural field structure.”
“It could be. We harness magnas and mold it into things. Make use of it as a source of energy for all sorts of spells and Magik. A disruption within that field could cause the magnas to react, and without a spell to direct it, well certainly the mind of one with minimal talent could direct it unconsciously.”
“I don’t disagree with that at all, Eva. The question at hand would be what caused such a disruption to occur and to continue to occur. For most certainly it is one never recorded or seen before.”
Eva gave him a serious look. “No, Faust, the question is what should be done about it? If we cannot harness this or contain it, then this wild magic will sweep through our world and leave chaos in its wake.”
“Nature is a finicky thing,” Arina murmured.
Eva glanced back at the woman with a frown.
“She is right,” Peoter said. “If something caused this manifestation of wild energy, it is an influence that has been present for quite some time. And when nature is not in balance it compensates somehow. These areas are now part of that balance. I’m not sure removing them would be a prudent solution.”
She was not inclined to take a green skinned man, a fae, and a young looking one, seriously. “Obviously, you’re slightly bias, Peoter. Nothing against you, but you were born from the Sector and that very energy. Of course to you it seems natural and of course you would preserve such an aberration. It’s your natural environment.” She paused, giving him a once over, and recalling tales of lively feeorin. “And I might add that you exist because of a vivid human imagination. Just above an illusion. Created from a dream, but with a foreign energy making you more real. A Glim that believes it exists and thinks beyond the parameters of its creation.”
The scowl he gave her looked petulant. “While it may be true, maybe, that human imagination created my form, I have an existence separate from their minds. In fact, since the birth of the Sector, I’m third generation of my kind. And while my form may have been designed based on human fancy, my mind and my existence are my own. A Glim is not a physical being, just a more concrete illusion. I could fart out an illusion like that in my sleep. Quite frankly, Faust’s theories are a little insulting to the fae.”
“Ah, so at least some people do not think you are so brilliant,” Eva muttered.
“He said insulting. Because little foolish girls, like you, would diminish his existence or his right to his existence based on the idea he was created from energy and human imagination. Most of the fae hate humans because in part they know they played a role in their creation. That they would have no existence if not for the active role of susceptible human minds. Some wish to believe they are ancient creatures reborn, as it is more flattering. But it is pointless. They exist and they are not going to poof out of existence even if every human suddenly stops believing in them. Creation has happened and from that point onward they are their own people.”
“Exactly so,” Peoter said. “Just as your God is said to have created you, but after creation you have the will and freedom to become what you wish. And most of us have no love for humans that wish to exterminate us simply because we are a product of the Sector. As though their addition to the act means nothing and as though we are soulless creatures that are unnatural.”
“Quite true,” Arina murmured. “I am close to the nature of the fae, but was born human. I live in both realms by the form I was changed into. I don’t understand this idea that I lost my soul in the process. Or that the fae never had souls.”
“A downfall to the mythology,” Faust said. “People cannot comprehend that this is beyond the stories. But in such stories the fae have no souls.”
“Even now, I would be hard pressed to say they do, given the manner of their creation,” Eva said. “Assuming you are correct, Faust, and they were created from this energy and given form by humans. How would a soul come into that? When souls generally are something God inserts into his creations, not that of a random energy corruption.”
“Well, as to that, you would have to prove souls actually exist, in anyone. I’ve never come across one. Then you would have to decide exactly what a soul does in anyone. And then check and see if they indeed have that or not,” Faust said. “I’m not a religious man and I have never seen my soul, so I’m not about to enter into such an absurd debate. It only points to the problem in finding a resolution between humans, the changed, and the Sector born. Religion is a big problem really, and when we add it to the propaganda of the Council, well, none of us are looking good to your average human. That is, to people who generally have others think for them.”
Eva sighed, while Faust was not condescending, his opinion of people in general, tended to be negative at best. Not individuals, but certainly groups of them. “True. And if the Sector is some sort of corruption to our essence, well, I have felt no loss of my elusive soul.”
“Good,” Faust said with a chuckle.
“But then I never claimed the Sector is somehow evil,” Eva added.
“You wouldn’t, would you, darling? Far too rational to believe in absolutes,” Faust said.
From Faust that was a true compliment.
